100% courage = confidence

100% of courage equals confidence.

I heard Jamie Smart say this on a recent coaching call and, I have to say, everything changed for me. Boom.

I don’t know why it made such a big impact in that moment – I’d heard something similar lots of times before. Maybe this time I was ready to really see what it meant for me.

The thing is, I’m one of those people whom others assume are really confident, super motivated, always happy and a ‘take-life-in-both hands’ kind of person. Of course, the truth is that I am, and then I’m not, and then I am again, and then I’m not again …!

Isn’t that the same for all of us?

So, yes, I can be described like that, but I also have moments of scary self-doubt, unlimited ability to distract myself and waves of insecurity washing over me.

Isn’t that the same for all of us too?

Then I heard 100% of courage equals confidence and I realised that the only thing that ever stops me is me.

Let’s take the idea of me posting a video on social media – here’s me stopping me:

‘my video skills aren’t good enough’, ‘I don’t have the right equipment’, ‘it’ll look crap’, ‘my fringe is too long’, ‘I haven’t got anything worth saying’, ‘I won’t get any likes’... The insecure thinking that can pop into my head knows no bounds.

But I can see that having the courage to have a go, to make a first attempt, is the first step of recognising my inbuilt self-confidence. Does it actually matter if no one watches it? Does it matter if it isn’t super quality? Does it matter if I have a lockdown fringe?! No, no and no. My ability to convince myself that it does, though, is quite spectacular!

When I was learning Spanish, the teacher said ‘have the courage to say one word out loud, then two words, then a short sentence ...’

It’s true. Those courageous steps guide me to back to confidence – which is something I have in abundance when I accept those insecure whisperings as temporary, regardless of whether I invite them or not. I acknowledge those insecure moments as, well, just passing moments, and I’m able to sense the strength to give it a go.

I no longer underestimate the power of each tiny step and, now I recognise that it’s me stopping me, I can get out of my own way and get on with it – whatever it is.