I was driving along earlier this week and it occurred to me that a young client was going to write a guest blog for my website last month but didn’t, then this month but hasn’t. It occurred to me that, as it hasn’t arrived yet, it might end up being the February or March guest blog.
The next crashing thought was that I will need to write a blog for January…. off my mind went into a blur of over thinking: Oh no! what will I write about? How will I find something interesting to say? Why hasn’t she sent her piece to me? Does it matter if I don’t write one? Who’d know? I must, I must, I promised myself I would!
My mind whirled with procrastination. What a great idea for a blog!
Right, I’ll get home, sit down and write an engaging, interesting and dynamic piece which will draw people into my world of monthly blogging.
Righto. Here we go then.
I then found myself emptying, cleaning, stocktaking and rearranging my larder cupboard.
Followed by explaining the new larder system (I’m good at systems) to my family. Then I realised that I had mud on my hiking boots, so they needed to be cleaned, and re-waxed, properly.
And, oh crikey, my invoice filing system needed sorting ready for my next self-assessment return - due in January 2021.
I realised that (after cleaning the bin and filling up the wood basket) I was truly into the throws of procrastination. In fact, I could legitimately declare myself the Queen of Procrastination. This was going far beyond recognising the usual signs:
Watching reruns of Friends (again)
Playing solitaire until I win in under one minute
Doing the ironing
Then the Aha! moment came; the insight; the recognition that, actually, it’s perfectly normal to procrastinate – in fact, it’s often quite fun (and we do get those weird other jobs done that we’ve put off for years). Procrastination is natural, normal, being human … until we are ready to hear that nugget of internal wisdom, that clear voice that says ‘Come on now, it’s okay, you have everything you need, you can do it.’
Then I get on and do it. I even enjoy it – it feels like the procrastinating cleared the pathway in my head through all that noisy thinking to bring me back where I always am:
Right here, right now, getting on with it as best I can.
Maybe, if the guest blog for February doesn’t arrive, I could plan to cut the lawn with my nail scissors, or paint the house with a nail varnish brush …